I have had some rough mom days lately. Eventually, I’ll have the wherewithall to sit and write them out, find perspective, reason out my mom fails. But as a I sat down (read: collapsed into a chair) to write, I am reminded that one day, I’m going to miss this. I’m trying to hold on to that..
Stop the sentimental crap you say? I hear you. Being a mom is not glamour all the time, not all sunshine and rainbows.. In fact, sometimes it’s hard and downright aggravating.
So, instead of spouting the fabulous-ness of being a mommy, I’ll plot my revenge instead.
- I love you 5 year old son of mine, but the first time you bring a girl over? It’s bare-bottomed picture time. THAT will be for the 500th time you asked me why when I asked you to clean up.
- You may scream no at me every time I ask you to do something, 23 month old beautiful daughter of mine. A glimpse into the future? No, you may not have the credit card to go to the mall and buy those jeans you wanted. However, you can share the ad with mommy ,who will pretend she’s younger than she looks by purchasing a pair herself.
- You think you’re cute, do ya little man? That’s okay. As Daddy said in a pearl of wisdom to you, 5 year old son, “Be nice to your sister or she won’t let you date her friends when you’re older”.
- Oh, you LIKE being up at 2 and 3 am in the morning, do you sunshine? The early hours appeal to you, dear daughter of mine? I gotcha. Fast-forward a few years and when your alarm does not need you up until 7 am for school, I will be sure to have you up at 5 am. Because, you know, you don’t want to miss anything in the wee hours of the morning (or so you claim these past few days).
The pictures will be at the ready. And they increase in volume every time you say no…
Or at least a great pair of shoes.
I’m still not sure whether that is the best advice ever or deserving of a daddy time out.
Okay, make me feel better and less alone- I can’t be the only one who has a few of these lined up! Your thoughts?