I have had some rough mom days lately. Eventually, I’ll have the wherewithall to sit and write them out, find perspective, reason out my mom fails. But as a I sat down (read: collapsed into a chair) to write, I am reminded that one day, I’m going to miss this. I’m trying to hold on to that..
Stop the sentimental crap you say? I hear you. Being a mom is not glamour all the time, not all sunshine and rainbows.. In fact, sometimes it’s hard and downright aggravating.
So, instead of spouting the fabulous-ness of being a mommy, I’ll plot my revenge instead.
- I love you 5 year old son of mine, but the first time you bring a girl over? It’s bare-bottomed picture time. THAT will be for the 500th time you asked me why when I asked you to clean up.
- You may scream no at me every time I ask you to do something, 23 month old beautiful daughter of mine. A glimpse into the future? No, you may not have the credit card to go to the mall and buy those jeans you wanted. However, you can share the ad with mommy ,who will pretend she’s younger than she looks by purchasing a pair herself.
- You think you’re cute, do ya little man? That’s okay. As Daddy said in a pearl of wisdom to you, 5 year old son, “Be nice to your sister or she won’t let you date her friends when you’re older”.
- Oh, you LIKE being up at 2 and 3 am in the morning, do you sunshine? The early hours appeal to you, dear daughter of mine? I gotcha. Fast-forward a few years and when your alarm does not need you up until 7 am for school, I will be sure to have you up at 5 am. Because, you know, you don’t want to miss anything in the wee hours of the morning (or so you claim these past few days).
The pictures will be at the ready. And they increase in volume every time you say no…
Or at least a great pair of shoes.
I’m still not sure whether that is the best advice ever or deserving of a daddy time out.
Okay, make me feel better and less alone- I can’t be the only one who has a few of these lined up! Your thoughts?
Welcome to My Front Porch Swing! I'm Ashley, a Georgia Mom of 2. I work from home running social media promotions, particularly representing small businesses. You can almost always find me on Twitter and devouring as much about Social Media as I can. Follow along as I navigate life as a work at home mom and wife while striving to find a balance. Note the word "striving"
Oh you’re not the only one! I have these and probably a million more! And the best part… I’m getting to actually do some of them right now!
Jackie recently posted..Yes its really me!
Twitter: AshleyNAbele
says:
Hah, I will need advice. I need to add some to my list..
Twitter: ByWordsMusings
says:
LOL, I still have a bare bottom shot of me lying in a bathub, we lived in Africa and I was brown as a berry and had the whitest bottom – think I was about 7. My Mom tried sneaking it onto our wedding video
My Mom also wished one ten times worse than me on me … and God gave me The Princess – apparently He has a great sense of humor …
By Word of Mouth recently posted..My cup overflowed today
Twitter: AshleyNAbele
says:
Hah.. I can only imagine the payback some of us will receive…
Twitter: kristeenieb
says:
I’m totally planning a lot of toddler melt downs in stores when my 18 month old is around 12. He will be up no latter than 6 am every morning even on Sat and Sun for the rest of his life in this house. When he brings a girl home I already have an application ready with super embarrasing questions and stories with pictures to knock their socks off.
So no you’re not the only one that plots retaliation.
Twitter: AshleyNAbele
says:
HAH I Love it. Or maybe a meltdown at a restaurant where cute girls from his school are working : )
Oh yeah…our days are coming.
gigi recently posted..Waiting Is The Hardest Part
Twitter: AshleyNAbele
says:
They have to. It’s the only way I will survive these years..
Twitter: tablefor2half
says:
You are so not alone in this. I am constantly telling my 16-month-old already of all the ways he will pay me back one day. The humiliation we mothers have stored up if the need arises …
Twitter: AshleyNAbele
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I think its what we need to keep us sane..
Twitter: lifewithoutpink
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LOVE IT! And you know I agree with you
Twitter: AshleyNAbele
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Sometimes, it’s the little things..
You are definitely not alone! My 20 month old decided to get me up at the crack of dawn this morning for no apparent reason. I’m already plotting my revenge.
Twitter: AshleyNAbele
says:
These toddlers know how to get to us, I swear..
I too am not sure if your husband is deserving of a time out. But if mine had said it, I’d probably let it slide. Because it’s both hilarious and true.
KLZ recently posted..An Antler Evolution
Twitter: mommakiss
says:
I’ve already got the ‘album to show the girlfriends (or boyfriends)’ when they start dating. It’s the only album I’ve kept up with. Priorities.
MommaKiss recently posted..And The Evil Santa Goes To
Twitter: bellebeandog
says:
LOVE this! And it’s so refreshing to see a *true* angle of being a mom. Cuz it sure ain’t all sunshine and rainbows in real life!
liz recently posted..A Moment for Reflection
Twitter: AshleyNAbele
says:
But I’m the perfect mom who never gets upset with her kids.
Snort.
I applaud that vision of perfection, because if she really exists, I need lessons.
This is great! I love your ideas of revenge. Your husband’s advice was genius. Hopefully that threat will work when they are preteens and teens. They have no idea what is in store for them when mom and dad get payback:)
Payback time! I spent the holidays with my mother who delighted in telling me that I was EXACTLY LIKE my 6 yr old when I was her age – defiant, foot stamping, and an expert at yelling: “I WILL NOT DO THAT!” Oh boy…I had it coming….(:
Anne recently posted..Oatmeal chocolate chip cookies Post stress-cation baking
Twitter: ITSMoments
says:
Four words: privacy in the bathroom.
Once they’re teens? I’m barging in EVERY single time.
Yep, it’s on!
Twitter: NoliesPlace
says:
Love it. Daddy had good advice about being nice to sister. Though that last threat I think is empty. Do YOU really want to get up that early just to pay them back?
I just wish they could understand that they need to sleep now b/c they won’t always be able to…. they are going to regret that decision!!
Lori Foreman recently posted..It Will Feel My Body Bad
You kept it real! Had I written a letter to one of my 2.75yo twins yesterday, it may have included the words “I,” “hate,” and “you.” Luckily I got over it.
Oh I plot my revenge every day! Love it!
Twitter: LEleanaJohnson
says:
This is hilarious! I can only imagine the things I can start plotting about now.
L. Eleana recently posted..Surrounding Yourself With Real Friends Even When They Don’t Agree With You
I keep saying that once my son is a teenager and wants to sleep till noon, I’m waking him up at the ass crack of dawn everyday as payback for how he wakes me up now!!!
The Mommyologist recently posted..Disney On Ice Review- Fun Night For The Whole Family!
Me? Never! And by never, I mean of course! You know our precious angels will not always enjoy an early wake-up, or even a semi early one!
Khara recently posted..From Here To Eternity – Trendy Award
Twitter: madsbloggingmom
says:
My love for you just grew tenfold!
And yes, I’m taking notes…and plotting revenge….on the children, of course. Well, and maybe their father.
Mad Woman behind the Blog recently posted..Ho ho holiday!
Revenge? I never thought of that.
I will have to start plotting immediately!!
Nice to meet you. I hope you have a good weekend.
Heather recently posted..Accessory
Oh, how I love this! I was CRACKING UP!
Revenge? I never thought of that. I will have to start plotting immediately!! Nice to meet you. I hope you have a good weekend.
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